Step 16 - Motive Introspection

How To Double Your Way To A Million In 28 StepsIt seems that I have come to another point that I need to do some introspection regarding all this Doubling Up to a Million stuff.

Over the course of doing this I have noticed that other Doublers have not been following the rules as presented in the Stuart Goldsmith Free Report:

"How to Double Your Way to a £Million in 28 Steps"
From time to time I got rather upset by this occurance but was unable to actually figure out why it bothered me at all.

I would watch as some would do things in violation of the rules and it would accelerate them along, enlarging their "stake". I would think, "Hey, thats not fair!"

Recently I mentioned in the "Doubler's Den Forum" about a technique that was being used, and starting to spread that, to me, seemed to cross the borders of the rules.

Introspection time had been coming now for a while, I could feel it bubbling below the surface but couldn't get a grasp on it.

At this point, I think I am seeing a few things a bit more clearly.

First, I asked myself, self, why are you bothered that others are not following the rules exactly as laid out?

The answer was as follows; Although I do not like competition, I think I learned to be competitive from my Father, who competed about everything. When I first started this Double to a Million Plan I knew others were doing it as well and this raised up a bit of a competitive spirit in me.

You can read more about learning to be competitive at a former post:"Step-14 Epiphany"
I thought it would be fun to compete with others around the world as we moved toward the goal of the Million dollars. Looking at it that way I guess I made the mistake of assuming that others would see it that way as well.

Since we all had a set of rules to follow, we were, for the most part, all on even ground so to speak. No one had an advantage over anyone else and the competition would be fair.

But as time went by and other's changed the rules they followed or modified them or disregarded them altogether, I, still stuck in a competitive mode in my mind, felt like I was playing by the rules and they were not.

Today I realized that this competitive ideal was not working for me and in fact was causing me grief and irritation. The game was not fun anymore.

Of course I only did this to myself, no one else was even playing so if they weren't playing, it really didn't matter whether they cheated or not.

Arkad said something in the Forum that made me realize that each person had an agenda or goal and it wasn't the same goal as mine.

He said; "As long as we're all becoming wealthier, that's all that matters."

This got me thinking, "Hey, just what is my motive for doing this double to a million thing anyways?"

That is when I realized that one of my motives was to enjoy a competition with my contemporaries (other doublers).

Was that my real motive? I don't think so. I think that was just a conditioned belief system, or behavioral pattern that manifests itself whenever I am in certain conditions with other humans. I get competitive.

Then what was my motive? To make a million dollars or become wealthy?

To be honest, although that would be nice, I rather doubt I will attain those things from this endeavor. I am not saying it is impossible, I am just not sure I have the drive, ambition or self-sacrifice to do it. I will try but the money is not my motive.

So what is my motive?

I think to a certain extent, my motive was first the need for a combination of self-discovery, self-expression and the rooting out of harmful false belief systems that caused me to, for all intents and purposes, feel miserable most of the time.

Something inside me told me that following this plan was going to help me in ways I couldn't imagine at the time. It would present circumstances and situations that would make me examine myself from different angles and see things that needed to be dealt with.

I was real excited about this plan, when I first started, because I felt I needed to do this, to learn things that I was finding not only impossible to see in my present state but didn't have the capacity to even conceive what these things were.

In other words I was at a roadblock, an impasse and I couldn't get around it.

I saw in this plan a scenario that would teach me what I need to know and what I needed to learn about myself to get around this impasse.

One of the things I am now seeing is that perhaps I set up a competition with others around me and that competition only brings unhappiness and grief. For one thing the other people don't even know that there is a competition in the first place.

I have decided that I am still going to follow the rules as they are presented, but the reason I am going to do that, is not because of a competitive aspect but rather because I feel the need for some boundaries and guidelines in my life.

I have never really been a rule follower. In fact, I always hated rules, but now I feel I can learn the most from this project if I follow the rules as perfectly as possible.

It would have been fun if we all were playing the game together, but I don't think it is going to bother me anymore that other Doubler's are playing the game by themselves and by their own rules.

No more competition for me.

My Motive is to learn everything I can from this Double To A Million Plan and change as a result.

Present Stake: $200.64

Motto: It is only "one" found penny.

Regards,

Xinfinitum


This Doubling a Million Blog is based upon the Doubling Technique "How to Double Your Way to a £Million in 28 Steps". It is an attempt of Turning a penny into a million dollars by finding one penny and growing it to one million dollars, starting from nothing. Double your way to wealth, learn how to raise a million dollars starting with one penny.

How to Double Your Way to a Million in 28 Steps
D.T.A.M.P. - Double To A Million Plan
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